Thursday, October 28, 2010

Cool Quotes

By me: 

 

I give eloquent rants. I'm smoothly disjointed. I'm tantalisingly tame. Studiously wild. I'm compulsively erratic. I don't need a cure. I love my contraditions. Celebrate the unknown.

 

Heterosexual-only marriage is institutional discrimination. It creates the belief that homosexuality is not as 'valid' as heterosexuality

 

By my friends: 

 

Ash Perkins says, via Status Shuffle: If you're happy and you know it, share your meds

 

Árni Sigurdsson: We have murders in books outnumbering murders in reality [in Iceland], probably by a ratio of something like 100:1

 

Martin Goldstein: Sometimes I see how idiotic I am. Good times!

 

By people I've never met: 

 

"The problem, if you love it, is as beautiful as the sunset." - Krishnamurti 

 

Martha Graham: There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that
is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in
all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never
exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it.
It is not your business to determine... how good it is, not how it
compares with other expression.
It is your business to keep it yours
clearly & directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to
believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open & aware
directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No
artist is pleased.There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There
is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us
marching & makes us more alive than the others.

 

No revolution- sometimes it depresses me/ the institution, curses curiosity/.. A Revolution/ Is The Solution!- Sex is Not the Enemy, Garbage

 

Rob Thomas: 'I wish the real world / would just stop hassling me'

Monday, October 25, 2010

Elusive Girl

Not even remotely standoffish
Is how you’d like to have me
Not even remotely touched
Is how I often aim to be

Shock yourself in relation to me
Unblock the assailant, the peaceful vagabond who
Shies away from certainty
Knowing it’s what you thirst for

I’ll always disappear, ever nomadic
I’ll never linger more than I can help it

Wilts and wonders claim my soul
I shudder in and out of self-control
I flounder and flourish in my founding role
The one you demand I take up again
 No matter how outdated it feels
You evince antipathy for the player who reels
Back from the preliminary notion
That cemented fluidity in my mind
To you and your colleagues I’m an idiosyncratic find
But I’m just trying to leave them,
And you,
Behind.

Five Shades of Cloud Shelter

Lost in the motion of the everyday swagger
Is the trembling that follows me around
Whenever I feel the tendency to go off-kilter
I stop myself before I hit the ground
I keep thinking it might be useful to
Substitute some false equanimity with real frustration
Spend another month or minute stuck in a steep climb

All I seem to do is avert my tears
I’m never ready for bunches of people
But they’re always around
I’m always ready for the right person,
But he or she can’t be found
All I seem to want to do 
Is be at my very best
Like Julian Assange, a 
Would-be prisoner or full-time pest
Annoying all the right people
Neglecting all the right places
Society is brimming with ennui
I lose myself by admiring the faces
(Of the bitterly apathetic, sourly jovial, 
Cheerfully vengeful, and spicily lacklustre)

*

A toy Viking sits on my desk
A souvenir from a place of great possibility and abundant mess
Outside my room, turbulent narratives made audible
Remind me I’m the only one
To have absorbed the dark streaks I have

The future audience, I see in you
The faith that you’re there is my gift to myself
The references and allusions to your generosity
Keep me awake
With a semblance of cheer
Keep me asleep,
My dreams manage my fear

Last night I dreamt that I was in a murder mystery
The body of the victim crawled towards its coffin
Climbing over grassy terrain
Death was her reluctant triumph
The sombre celebration
Instinctive calculation
The listlessness was mesmerising
She lay seductively still
Being drained of her enthusiasm for evading death
Going with the flow
The export of her energy beyond the confines of her body
Why am I writing about death?
Was my brush with aggressive infection
In Northern Europe so traumatic?
I’m as good as new, I dare contest
My ulterior motive to entertain by my arrest
Such restrictions have been placed over me
Such disapproval aimed at my mind and my body

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Unexpectedly Still

I am having more and more days when I find that life can be enjoyable even if I don't leave Sydney. It has all the comforts of a Top 30 'most innovative' big city, just the right amount of Asian immigrants and more events than I could ever hope to attend. I lower my expectations, and I am able to appreciate the subtlety of an emotion that is happier than the one that came before it, or vice versa.

It's days like today that I think "even if I couldn't travel outside Australia ever again, I would be OK." Not that I have any intention to stop traveling. Each time I travel is better than the last, takes me further away from Australia, and closer to it. In fact, over the last few years I have developed a substantial amount of curiosity about The Great Southern Land, and such destinations as Lismore, Darwin, Cairns, Alice Springs and more of Melbourne have made it on my list.

My point is, that I seem to have found enough inner peace to feel contented with my lot in life to some extent, which is a rather encouragingly positive thing. To put it another way, wherever I go, I'll be comfortably discomforted, and soothingly disturbed. Sydney or Taipei, Tokyo or Rosario, Vienna or Reykjavik.

Roiling Mind

"I woke up this morning feeling like my mind was roiling... jumping from one turbulent narrative to the next, with a few patches of peace in between." - Epiphanie Bloom


Sometimes I think that it was in China that I created this frantic state of turmoil. I wanted to change things simply through the power of my presence. I learned to feel powerless while I was there, faced with thousands of heads moving along in jerky unison, long-practiced stoic calm or dignified submissiveness. 


It felt like settling down would be dangerous. I felt like I was supposed to serve the world, and to do so demanded the application of pressure.


If I look at what Julian Assange is doing now, I admire him with ferocity. He symbolises the power of the individual to learn from the best of the system under which he has been brought up, and turn around to expose the worst of it. 


In the future, I hope we will have greater transparency in the political governments of the world. I can only hope that WikiLeaks is a salient pioneer of this movement towards greater integrity through greater public engagement and increasingly higher levels of curiosity. 

I hope that in the future, the Australian and US governments study Julian Assange as a hero.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

In with the New

Today is passing quickly... I have so many concerns on my mind, but I don't know who to share them with...

You know, let's take the Australian population as an example...
Women represent approximately 50% of the population.
Immigrants represent approximately 25% of the population.
GLBTIs represent, let us say, about 5% of the population. (Fitting in with conservative statistics on the matter.)

So, it would seem that approx 65% of people do not fall into the category of Australian-born straight males. Or, that a majority of us are on the supposed 'margins'. If we group together, we place this disproportionally influential group squarely in context! What do you think?

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Desire to Sketch

I have this need to write my pen off the line and start creating curves which evolve into complex architectural concoctions... I keep thinking back to Year 11, when I was really enjoying learning postmodern methods of explorations and appreciating the limitless potential of life... I think it's important to anoint myself with a sense of leisurely, tentative yet tenacious exploration.

Claustrophobia

For the past few days I've had a slight cold, meaning I've confined myself to staying at home (every serious illness I've ever had has come from a cold, so it's not as extreme as it sounds), and I'm getting to the point of being bored out of my mind.

In this post I will try to write a piece on Lady Gaga in relation to misogyny.




Why is a woman's sexuality / always under so much scrutiny? / Why can't she do exactly as she please / without being called a million things? / - Still Dirrty, Christina Aguilera



Her Tweet: Slutty monsters
Dance in the Dark: She’s a tramp, she’s a vamp
Paparazzi: C word


Annnd that's as far as I'm getting today, because my father and I have decided to go out to Oxford St anyway!

Peace, Postmodernism and Plenty of <3

Epi

Friday, October 15, 2010

Pink Swirls

My parents are so severe in their speech and sensibilities... my harmony-seeking narratives thwarted for the moment... The sensitivity goes unrecognised, unadjusted to, even though I wear it proudly...
I keep seeing variations on theme / where others assume continuity

I have no desires left to bandy about as unmet
Such a position would cause me regret
The minute I fall into a more sustainable higher
Is the moment I ascend into delicious doubts

And I'm not aware of how I can posture any further
In this city of hazy nightmares
Trinkets in hand (they do the magic dance of technology)
I spy reasons to keep my gaze down
But can't assume threats are all around

I don't know how to reach out, or who to touch
I expect to be delivered from this suffocating pouch

Indecision Strikes

I have so much to write about that I literally can't get started...
I haven't had the best sleep lately... I find myself yawning over my tea this afternoon, which makes me wonder if I'm also fatigued by all the things I haven't been writing about lately. Yesterday I wrote that getting out of Sydney allows me to get in touch with narratives I might otherwise neglect. I struggle to remember how I'm supposed to be feeling about place as opposed to how I actually do. Watching The Girl Who Played With Fire, I felt a nostalgia for Stockholm, such a beautiful, pastel-coloured, dreamy-looking place. Is this a similar affinity for a place as the one I cultivate towards Sydney, a kind of strained enthusiasm? Yet Sweden is absent of quite a few irritating factors present in Aus. Its (reported) rape rate is lower, gender quality and GLBT equality is higher, and from what I've heard of the laws protecting the media (that led Julian Assange of WikiLeaks to seek a long-term stay there), it sounds like a place that brings a lot of privileges.
Is Stockholm's charm a little less apparent than Copenhagen's? Is its innovation a little less developed (but still very strong), but its urban environment more appealing to me? I don't know what I'm looking for anymore...
One thing I'm sure of is that more people need to experience other cultures first-hand. Any culture. Just go to a different continent every once in a while, get a feel for how the locals think and the issues that affect them. Don't think about it, just go! You'll have plenty of time to think about while you're there...
I was looking at photos of Barcelona yesterday... the overpowering colours of its food scene, the high drama of Gaudi architectural concoctions, the theatricity of art and modern life... and let's not forget that Spain legalised same-sex marriage before anywhere in Scandinavia, not long after The Netherlands... however, how can I possibly say that one is better than another? I haven't spent long enough in either place to get a feel for it. If anything, Barcelona is a bit too extraverted and Sweden (and Denmark) are a bit too introverted...but it doesn't matter whether I obsess over them or not: I'm not going to be able to fly over there until about this time next year. My conscious focus should be on Asia... I should be researching Thailand, Vietnam and Taiwan. I'm not sure why I'm not... it may have something to do with how much I want to be there right now, and knowing that I may have to put it off another 6 weeks makes me inconsolable.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Dreaming of S-East Asia Haiku

A curvy branch, as if gesturing
Towards the perfect symmetry
Of the temple ahead

Criticisms of Scandinavian Culture

An exchange in Denmark:

A: Hello! You must be back from London?
B: Yes, and how are you?
A: I'm planning to buy some alcohol and get drunk.
B: That's you!

I was basically blown away by the matter-of-fact tone with which these words were exchanged (especially the last two sentences). I am yet to utter one sentence in my life with such a blunt, minimalistic tone. It made me feel both somewhat uncomfortable and immediately introduced to (whatever) the core of things (that the two felt comfortable representing to the world) appeared to be.

*

I care a lot about my Swedish friend (let's call him Tom), but I found it hard to approve of his tendency to see me getting out my camera as a sign that he should do the same thing, and point it in the same direction. It had a kind of yes-man quality which seemed contradictory to the rest of his personality as a postmodern-minded intellectual. I guess it goes to show that Swedes tend to conform socially?

Managing Destructive Tendencies

The night has been arranged
To shade the day from fright
Laughter has been conjured up
To counter misplaced anger's might

I am the light, I am the dark
Colours pale and colours stark
In it all, I see haphazard solutions
They beg for the advent of questions