Sunday, 27 March 2011

Pursuing Your Dream

People are always telling me to follow my dream(s), to the extent that I've recently been thinking about this indepth. In some sense, I am living my dream. In some sense, I have a long way to go.

In what sense am I living my dream?

I have eliminated one after another of a long list of partly alluring but ultimately destructive career choices, and stripped it all down to 'the written and spoken word'. When I visited Artists' Square at Montmartre I wanted to purchase some drawing / painting materials and make a little space for myself on the plaza, weaving myself into the fabric of Paris society. My dad wasn't so enchanted with the idea, and so we returned to Sydney. The art I have created has actually received a lot of praise, and I have often thought that if I focused on it, I could make money through it.

In another life, I would love to be a psychologist, an interior designer, an Information Technology person, a photographer, a film director, a sociologist, a politician, an architect, an actor, a dancer... you get the idea.

Even as a 'writer', I'm always asking myself 'what kind of writing do I most want to do'? The questions evoked by that are always changing.

'Am I primarily a poet?'
'Is postmodern philosophy something I should take more seriously?'
'Should I focus on being more eloquent, or more direct?'
'Should I try to write a longer text, or a stream of witticisms (very short texts)?'

'Should I write about [feminism, sexual orientation, the creative process, etc] more or less?'
Should I follow up on something I've previously written, or forget everything I've ever written?

The fact that I have some a clear goal (Write!) and that it leads to so many questions is a sign that I am following my dreams.

Ways I could be living my dream further?

Becoming financially independent is something I haven't yet been able to do, and it's something which I'm preparing myself to tackle. However, there is a lot of fear of failure involved in this, because my previous attempts to 'have it all' while moving to another continent haven't worked out. (This happened three times, on three different continents, by the way.) So I guess this is where I learn from my mistakes and note the successes behind them.

Someone once suggested to me that if I wanted to move to Europe but didn't know exactly where to base myself, I should start off with London, so I can adjust to life on the continent, and then see where I go from there.

I know that I see Stockholm in my future - it's a place where almost everyone speaks near-flawless English, yet still gives me a foreign language to learn; I know that I find Barcelona irresistable also. I'm not completely sure about Paris, because it's not on the sea, and the people can be rather pretentious and Anglophone-phobic.

But this is the easy part: Deciding which society I want to join.
The hardest part is making enough money to be able to support myself, wherever I am.

I heard someone (I forget who) say that, these days, writing a book is a good way to boost your profile. Well, perhaps I can write books on the side, as a way of maintaining my blogging practice... :o)

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