Saturday, May 14, 2011

Good friends are hard to find

Last week I sent an email or two which effectively ended a friendship. We had only met a few times, but already he was starting to take me for granted. "We'll go. It's a date!" He said firmly upon inspecting the schedule of a theatrical performance. He hadn't asked me if I wanted to go with him, just assumed that I would be available and willing to follow his lead.

Earlier he persisted with describing what might happen if there were a tsunami coming from Bondi Beach while we were eating a dinner on a beach hut overlooking the sea, completely ignoring my objections. What an insensitive, ignorant tool.

The worst thing is that I had sunk in his attitudes to a degree not good for me - I was starting to see the sense in lowering my mood/expectations, and a bit of that attitude lingers on.

I'd like to stop complaining now, but I'm not finished...

On one of our first few meetings he voiced a judgement about a friend of mine who was doing a PhD in his 50s, implying that he should have done it earlier. This is disturbing to me because I don't judge people by what pieces of paper they have graduated with, or whether they have graduated with anything at all.

After a while, the offenses just kept building, until I had to demolish the whole awkward friendship.

One more thing - I hate it when someone put the moves on me without my verbal or non-verbal consent. I'm very sensitive and don't like to be touched unless I clearly invite it.

***

Since I'm on a roll, I may as well complain about my former best friend.

She wouldn't (couldn't?) admit she was wrong about something. You might think, that for her to exercise the powers of self-imposed ignorance and steadfast denial of a moral responsibility to keep learning, it had to have been a pretty extreme mistake she made. Instead, we were discussing Hong Kong and the suburb of Mongkok, or at least that's what I gathered when I saw 'Monkok' in the chat window, and pointed out that she was missing a g. Her response? "Can you not correct me?"

***

That line - "Can you not correct me?" - haunts me.

***

So many of my interactions are one-sided. I suppose if I had a partner I wouldn't mind as much, so I look forward to that. I do enjoy being single, and it would be even more interesting if I could be 'single' with someone else. Two single people (like my Facebook friend, Only) making a life for each other.

No comments:

Post a Comment