Friday, March 30, 2012

The Endless Search

You start out intending to end, but that is neither here nor there, for you are always in the middle of something. It's an insult to my experience on the planet to play along with the conventions of openings and resolutions. Each deviation from a sense of ongoing journeys, each negation of the interwoven nature of any thinking process with another, brings me closer to a state of acceptance of closure and origination.

To put it another way: I have been ending and starting all my life. With a single syllable, word or sentence, I simultaneously break from the past and dash into the future - and yet the further I rush from my uncomfortable history, the more it haunts me, filling in the gaps without my conscious consent - but by tuning into the thoughts behind the thoughts that most leap out into the page, by peeling back the layers bit by bit, I delve into a mutlifaceted whirlpool which dissolves even as I conjure it as vividly as possible... the atmosphere has transformed into a calmer windiness which begs for articulation immediately upon conceptualisation. And I do struggle with the wording, although it is also effortless in a sense. The free-floating nature of my desire to express myself, nestled within the harsh confines I must appropriate in order to 'make sense'.

3 comments:

  1. I loved this post. Really good. xx

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  3. Muchas gracias. This is what happened after listening to Pico Iyer speak about Graham Greene

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