Sunday, November 30, 2014

Blinking at the sun

As always, there is too much noise. The loud ticking of the analogue clock in the living room, the neighbours' TV turned up way too loud and left to terrorise anyone within earshot.

I've been hiding
Making noise carefully contained by
The perfect length of a blog post

Within me lies a stream of torrents
They don't have a clear-cut end
And because I've placed
So many restrictions on myself
It's time to just breathe
As best I can

Hesitant to speak my mind
Wary of potential bullies
But vulnerability's compelling
My supply is unending

*







Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Waiting

How long will I have to dull the pain?
It would be such a luxury to feel it all
They've whisked away the fevered strain
I want to just unravel

Somehow it doesn't serve the world
To be artificially whole
I can't condone this sterile violence
Medication handed out like candy

It's a legal high
Not only lauded but imposed
I can't strip myself down to the bare minimum
Without examining the consequences
And, although in my secret thoughts, they're exposed -
The technicians who glorify my numbness -
I have to pay lip service to their odes
Agree I'm making progress
An encouraging recovery

When all I want to do
Is be in charge
Of my own headspace
Is that too much to ask?
We live in barbaric times
In the future they will laugh
at our pathetic notions of 'Human Rights'


Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Keeping the faith

Each time I go out there, it takes something out of me
I predict casual dismissal, amounting to abuse. It happens so frequently.
It gets harder to remember my motivation for the fight
Harder to drag my rhetoric out into flight
All this neglect is killing me
The pursuit of justice and dignity
Takes a lot of effort to keep alive
I fall into bed exhausted at night
But at least I'm sleeping through the night

My dedication isn't what it used to be
My previous successes no longer startle into motivation
I'm searching for a new direction
Setting sail without destination
But I feel that aimlessness has established itself
As the new status quo
And I hate it, but I can't bring myself
To identify a place to go

You see, they kept me too long,
I pretended to buy into the lies -
I sang their song.

The will to thrive must be displaced
I can't abide without a bracing
Against the sweetness of revival
Mine is but an uneasy survival