Becoming

Every day I'm becoming a little more me. A little more free.
Every day it's like I carve my initials into the air with incisive eye movements.
Every day I'm longing to happen upon a safe state of mind.
Every day there's relief when I close the door, turn on the heat.
Every day I'm looking away from my imperfections less.
Every day I'm valuing myself more.
Except when it's once step forward, two steps back.
There are plenty of those movements in store.

 *

Learn to resist the straitjacket of silence
Let the darkness ooze out in the direction it might
And if a whisper serves me better, let it
Develop. More resonating than a stylised shout

*

The more I know you, the more I care
I fear that I don't open up enough
But I know nobody's perfect and it's still OK
We remain both loving, and loved

*

Temptations everywhere I turn, of my own making
All I really need are strong jolts of self-affirmation
Did I leave you hanging, mid-revelation?
An epiphany that hasn't reached fruition
Muddled, searching, casually realigning
Fragmented forays into deepening my understanding
The unreliable narrator intends to keep on going
Enjoying and lamenting the ways in which she's growing