Friday, September 2, 2016

Childfree and loving it

The more I read about motherhood from feminists, the more relieved I am that I will never occupy that role. Something really radical would have to happen for me to change my mind. In the past I've been more vague about my intention to stay childfree, leaving open the possibility that I might do a U-turn and submit to societal expectations, no matter how unlikely that seemed. Today I am ready to come out and commit to my freedom from dependents: I refuse to have kids.

I don't consciously will it to be so, but I surround myself with people with similar views on mothering. Perhaps those who are mothers are mostly too busy with the incredible demands on their time their lifestyle provides. Perhaps some of them feel, to some extent, that I am too immature or selfish to hang out with. Perhaps it's not active exclusion so much as non-inclusion. It makes sense to seek emotional support from people who can relate to your situation.

Likewise, I want to be around people who have time and energy for me - who like to travel as often as possible, who don't have somebody relying on them and hence taking up the majority of their time. I think it's nice that I have adult friends who enjoy their social lives and advancing in their intellectual pursuits. Who are rebellious feminists.

Being 32 and childfree means that I have the freedom to spend my money in whichever way I wish. I have a growing foreign film collection and a ton of international travel experience. I'm proud of how I conduct my life. I don't feel I am missing out on something because I'm not having a baby, and I'm not at all worried about "being alone in my old age." There will always be people around to share my life with, whether they are my partners, friends, or just friendly faces I spend some time with due to circumstance. (I imagine there will be plenty of social opportunities created by my generation of elderly peeps.)



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