What is it I feel?

Getting in touch with my feelings can be difficult sometimes.
As I lower my medication, I'm moving towards taking care of my health psychologically.
And that means respecting every emotional state I experience.

I want to tell you to trust yourself
You don't have to swim with the tide
Climb out of the water
Take a seat by my side
(If you listen to yourself
You will be alright)

Shattered dreams and hollow goals
Searching for understanding
But it's only within me
Once again I follow
When I crave to lead
Scared to withstand criticism
Win some self-reprieve

You hasten to compliment me
And perhaps you're right
But the possibilities
They do terrify

Perhaps there is a place
Within me
Where I can process these onslaughts
Name the abuses

But my mind keeps longing
For an external solution
Meanwhile distracting itself with
Futile confusion

I don't mind confusion
If it's of a constructive ilk
It can often lead to happy places
If consumed by so much faith