What is pride? Is tapping in to popular notions of socially shared pride a good thing, considering it's so heavily influenced by nationalism? Where does socially sanctioned patriotism end, and the pride that means most to me swell up? I mask my pride deficit somewhat.
My psychologist suggested to me that I could be proud of having left the abusive relationship of 2005 - walking (no, flying) away in high style, selling something which didn't matter (a wedding band) for something that did (bus fare to the next Vietnamese town), and all the processes of letting go I've developed over time. Without the white gold reminder on my finger, there was that much less distance between me and the heady green of the Southeast Asian landscape. One less reminder of the arrogant, entitled American I had temporarily become. I savoured the experiences more. I talked less. So much of what happened after has been so good.
Is it fair to bolster my spirits with music? I'm withdrawing (from one dose of medication to a slightly lower one) now. Deserving of this, I am. I'll try to remember that music intoxicates in healthier ways.
I have a photo of a lion on the shoulder of my armchair. May it remind me to be proud.
My psychologist suggested to me that I could be proud of having left the abusive relationship of 2005 - walking (no, flying) away in high style, selling something which didn't matter (a wedding band) for something that did (bus fare to the next Vietnamese town), and all the processes of letting go I've developed over time. Without the white gold reminder on my finger, there was that much less distance between me and the heady green of the Southeast Asian landscape. One less reminder of the arrogant, entitled American I had temporarily become. I savoured the experiences more. I talked less. So much of what happened after has been so good.
Is it fair to bolster my spirits with music? I'm withdrawing (from one dose of medication to a slightly lower one) now. Deserving of this, I am. I'll try to remember that music intoxicates in healthier ways.
I have a photo of a lion on the shoulder of my armchair. May it remind me to be proud.
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