Post-astrology

 It’s unclear to me how to consciously direct my personality’s development. Would I do well to study different personality types to the one I emulated, attempt to compensate for decades of conformity to an (arche)type by an artificial rebalance? Or am I just better off randomly discovering lost avenues of the soul?

Maybe I should start a support group for those that have been harmed/limited by astrology.

Casting off my constructed shell of a personality is freeing - and terrifying. My existential identity crisis persists all these years. Perhaps active world sculpting is crucial to restoring social know-how. I got a taste of that in the coaching group I joined in March/April. 

An important discovery made thereabouts was that you have to know what your thoughts are in order to change them. Get in tune with those mental grooves, know their specifics. 

At times I’m tempted to muse on astrological knowledge I previously found comfort in, and it can be disappointing to withhold that space from myself. I find myself floating in space, no patterns (or constellations) to latch onto. I think about the many feminists I know who look to astrology for meaning. I think about whether I could date anyone who has a more-than-casual belief in astrology. Probably not, just like I couldn’t envision myself dating a Christian. 

At the same time, there’s a lot to be said for tolerance and open mindedness. Maybe my next partner will have a deep seated belief in aliens, or the absolute centrality of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, or something kooky I will have to humour. 

But who really knows what will emerge - all I can do is stay open to the endless possibilities in the universe.