In 2025 I had the privilege of being proven wrong on something important. Paradigm shifts were required, and some of them are still ongoing. Ultimately it's changed my life for the better, but it was a difficult journey, and the change in values it led to is something I'm still managing.
What was I wrong about? Living like a local in Northern Europe.
I always imagined it would be an incomparable improvement on living in Sydney, Australia. (I spent most of my 30s yearning to live in Sweden. And if it wasn't Sweden, it was somewhere nearby.)
When I actually had the great luck to live in Hannover, Germany, for 6 weeks this year, I went through a process of discovering that, no, actually, I'm better off staying in Australia and making the most of it. People always warned me that "the grass is greener on the other side" and that I was taking Sydney for granted. But I refused to believe it.
Well, I'm now taking comfort in my surroundings, knowing that immigrating to Germany wouldn't solve my problems... it would simply give me new ones.
At the end of my 6-week stay, I had developed a new conflictual relationship with a Global North culture. I felt stifled by the rules and conformity, but I tried to persist with the German way of doing things to the best of my ability. This meant using my German language skills, observing verbal and non-verbal codes of conduct, and navigating the city with as much goodwill as possible. Put simply, I tried.
Sure, the people were more feminist. But they were also more racist, which meant that the people who shared my values around antiracism were few and far in between. This led to me feeling lonely, and that the wider society not only had unrelatable views on People of Colour, but also me, specifically, as a Slavic person and as a "foreigner."
Whereas the society of Sydney feels largely unrelatable due to what feels like a lower status for women (and non-binary people) cultivated there (in comparison with Germany), I have found people here who are either feminists or share my main values on women's rights to befriend, which makes Sydney feel workable.
In Germany, I would estimate that 95%+ of the population has anti-immigrant sentiment. I'm not just thinking of the neo-Nazi Alternative für Deutschland, but almost everyone to the left of them, including the Greens ("We're sorry about this, but we have to concur that there is too much immigration," they would say) and even a few socialists. That is strongly off-putting.
It hurts, when you're trying to communicate with customer service staff in a language you are not fluent in, and you're trying to stay friendly and polite, but you are given the outsider treatment. I have felt people casually bonding over excluding me in bakeries and supermarkets. I couldn't understand all of the words they used to affirm their xenophobic values, but I felt it in the way they turned towards each other and away from me.
I see, in the eyes of Black, brown and other People of Colour, suspicion and fear when they meet my gaze. Am I going to be as white supremacist as the rest?, I imagine they are thinking. It saddens me to see immigrants and people who don't have the typical German features be treated with aggression and dehumanisation. That is a reality I encountered in Hannover every day, because I experienced it first-hand, but I also witness it happening to certain people who are classed as different.
As an immigrant from Bulgaria to Australia, there are far fewer barriers to "Australianness" for me. There are more immigrants and more PoC here than in Northern Europe, and exposure to each other brings more of the good things: cohesion, harmony, belonging. Curiosity, openness, sharing. Learning. The tendency towards greater equalising of human worth. Inclusion of more people into more social circles. "Celebrating Diversity," that oft-seen Australian phrase. The safety and resilience of the community. Participating in such a society is something I can be proud of. Is it perfect? No, it has a long way to go to reach full racial equality. In the bigger picture, though, only Canada can say they do it better than us (out of all the rich, democratic, multicultural countries of the world), and that is a remarkable achievement.
This post has become lengthier than usual, so I may be back to write about this issue.
For now, I have found a way to "be" as a Sydneysider. I focus on the city's strengths. My values have been shaped by Australia, more than any other country, and, with this lesson from 2025, I can better appreciate the quality of my education, the free and easy access to the best healthcare in the Global North, all the people who are fighting for my rights as a woman, a member of the LGBTIQ community, an immigrant, a Slav, and the other minority groups I am part of. I value and respect the multitude of people who have reached out to me over the years (since 1990), to offer me kindness, empathy and build mutual understanding.
I am a global citizen: not despite living in Sydney, but because of living in Sydney. It has been my gateway into the world, and I thank it for all the opportunities it has given me. When I come back, I feel comfortable, and that familiarity is a privilege. I find 'home' in my friends, family, and various kindly acquaintances across the community. 'Home' may notoriously be a tricky, unresolvable concept for an immigrant (if you know, you know), so this lesson brings an element of peace and resolution.
