Wednesday, 23 January 2019

Safe Space

Staying up allows me to find a floating expanse of fresh air in an otherwise polluted suburbia. Noise pollution is the worst. The hours between 1am and 4-6am are my respite from traffic, children, babies, blaring hip hop, and the all-too-dynamic population that makes up this neighbourhood.

Dad goes to bed after Mum, but he's the strong, silent type, and I can read alongside him on the couch horseshoe without too much distraction.

I've read four books since the start of the year. Ben Nash's 'Get Unstuck: How to live a life unlimited by money' confused me then, and it confuses me to date. It's not that I don't understand the concepts - it's that I don't know how to divide my savings up into the two or three goals I've identified as worth pursuing.

Long-time readers of ~Epiphanie Bloom~ will know [redacted for confidentiality purposes] I am shaping whatever future I will end up having right now!

Then there was 'The Year of Living Danishly' - a blast for the most part, with frequent passages of the unputdownable variety. I learned more about Danish culture than I was expecting, especially since Copenhagen was but a weekend trip's worth of stories, while rural Jutland was the locus from which all things originated. Would I move to Denmark myself? Oh yeah. Just because it's unlikely to eventuate, doesn't mean I can't dream...

It's sweet that the emotional state of cows upon first reuniting with grassy plains after a long, snowy winter, is something that Jutlanders value. I can only imagine how much Australian workplaces would improve if communal singing took place in the office at regular intervals. Affordable daycare is rightly something the politicians cared about and got integrated into the system... however if I want to read a book about the lessons Bulgarian-Australians can learn from Nordic feminism, I'm going to have to write it myself: Helen Russell wasn't one to dwell on my favourite topic.

In addition to these (rather different) books was 'Rest: Why you get more done when you work less' by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang. It may have been written more for professionals with conventionally high-flying career trajectories (esp if male), but valuable lessons for the likes of me were in abundance too. Approaching the concept of rest from a number of complementary angles, I'll try to integrate more walks along the beach into my schedule, sleep longer, and maybe someday experiment with naps (I'm afraid of napping and crying), just to name a few of the methods explored.

I was surprised to read an article by the author over at TED.com which explained that, scientifically speaking, you will benefit more from travel if you take one week off every three months, instead of waiting for that one-off four-week period. That was a cool way to discover the book.

So 'Rest' had a conspicuous dearth of female influence. It seemed like 93% of the famous or noteworthy figures whose relationship with work and rest Alex examined were cis men, and there were no two ways about it. If a writer wants to include women significantly, they will find a way to do so.

Finally we have 'Finding Sisu: In search of courage, strength and happiness the Finnish way', my liking of which was more subdued than the previously listed titles, but eh, they can't all get five stars. Katja Pantzar aims to make the most out of relocating to Helsinki by embracing the concept of sisu, which it turns out has very practical implications. With an emphasis on physical activity that makes the most of the beautiful Nordic environment, Katja discovers the benefits of bathing in icy water and cycling through green spaces, to name a few. While the theme is sisu, this journey is also about cultivating wellbeing in the face of depressive tendencies. I feel the focus could have been enhanced to incorporate the "messiness" of one human being searching for zest in a world that frequently gets her down, with sisu perhaps part of a trifecta, but not the unifying theme.

This post is already longer than usual, so I won't try to make many links between the books, except to say that each has allowed me to explore new avenues of thinking, and has been rewarding in its own way.

Onward to the next! (Reading is life.)

Tuesday, 15 January 2019

Places I've Been in Europe (Updated: Aug 2026)

As of Aug 2026, I've been to the following places in Europe:



1. Iceland

- Reykjavík



2. Norway

- Oslo



3. Sweden

- Stockholm (2)



4. Denmark

- Copenhagen (2)

- Roskilde

- Humlebæk

- Helsingør



5. Finland

- Helsinki

- Turku



6. England:

- London (4)

- Stratford-upon-Avon



7. Belgium

- Brussels



8. The Netherlands

- Amsterdam

- Maastricht



9. France

- Paris (3)

- Versailles

- Lyon

- Nice

- Cannes

- Marseille

- Cassis

- Aix-en-Provence

- Arles

- Carcassonne



10. Germany

- Berlin (4)

- München

- Magdeburg

- Leipzig

- Quedlinburg

- Hannover (multiple times)

- Celle 

- Bahrendorf

- Hitzacker

- Burhave (3)

- Sillens

- Hamburg (2)

- Frankfurt (2)

- Coppenbrügge

- Hameln (2)

- Köln

- Aachen

- Lübeck

- Dresden

- Bremen



11. Austria

- Vienna (4)



12. Switzerland

- Zürich (2)

- Geneva (2)



13. Portugal

- Lisboa (2)

- Óbidos

- Coimbra

- Porto



14. Spain

- Barcelona (3)

- Figueres

- Madrid

- Valencia

- Murcia

- Granada

- Órgiva

- Málaga

- Sevilla

- Zaragoza

- Bilbao



15. Italy

- Roma (3)

- Caserta

- Napoli

- Pompeii

- Sorrento

- Positano

- Amalfi

- Firenze

- Pisa

- Venezia

- Milano (2)

- Palermo

- Torino

- Bologna



16. Malta

- Valletta



17. Greece

- Athena (2)

- Aegina Island

- Santorini



18. Monaco

- Monte Carlo



19. Vatican City



20. Poland

- Warsaw

- Opole



21. Czechia

- Praha



22. Slovakia

- Bratislava



23. Latvia

- Riga



24. Estonia

- Tallinn



25. Hungary

- Budapest



26. Serbia

- Belgrade



27. Bulgaria

- Sofia (multiple times)

- Plovdiv

- Samokov (multiple times)

- Borovets (multiple times)

- Malyovitsa

- Bansko



28. Türkiye

- Istanbul



-------

Sunday, 13 January 2019

Progress Made

That feeling when... you speak your mind in all honesty, and you lose a friend over it. That happened late last year. What is it worth to know she had been trying to explain to me why she was in love with the cis guy I hated? It's true that her initiating the relationship led me to grow some distance between us. Knowing the kind of misogyny she was exposing herself to meant I was hesitant to share my deepest feminist thoughts within earshot. Perhaps she interpreted that as a universal fear of intimacy. But really, I didn't feel safe.

I didn't feel safe with her ease around the flatmate who I last heard talking about mashing up Britney Spears' 'I'm a Slave 4 U' and The Prodigy's 'Smack My B*tch Up'. The one who claimed that Paris Hilton released her own sex tape into the public sphere. The one whose own sister thinks he's a pedophile. The one who, more recently, won't consider a female as a relationship partner unless she's 'good-looking enough'. F*ck that guy. And the misogynistic boyfriend? He decided he, too, liked that guy. The alliance of women-haters. It surprises me what some people are willing to put up with.

I am privileged to have such an intensive relationship with the light that is feminism. I have put in the hours, read many a book, volunteered with the appropriate organisations. I am actively engaged in making the most of my limited experience here on earth, which includes protecting myself from male supremacy (which is everywhere). I'm yet to meet a cis man whose sexism and misogyny has been whittled down to an acceptable level. I decided, as a response to Trump's election, that their lack of revolt meant that they were worthless as life partners and friends. I would no longer concern myself with making myself likeable to them. They didn't deserve my energy.

So yeah, I've been going out without a bra more often this new year. I've been withdrawing as much energy from cis men as is possible. Only women and non-binary people can win me over. #sorrynotsorry

Monday, 31 December 2018

Queer Acceptance

What does it mean to me to be queer these days?
The communities I know often advocate for pride.
But pride is just the flip side of shame. 
Queer is an everyday reality.
By the time I tell people, I've known them long enough to recognise that they'll maintain a warm, genuine connection with me. Due to my sensitivity, this process doesn't take long. 
Queer links me to thought leaders, pioneers. Queer people are ahead of the game. 
Queer is also a source of pain, as when people are callous.
Everybody should aspire to be queer, at least in theory.

Saturday, 15 December 2018

Sunday, 9 December 2018

Passive consumer (Updated)

Every day I place myself in
Front of a screen and
Click my way into 
Bliss -- or oblivion?

You care
I see you care
But will you be there for me
When I'm unable to dare



Tuesday, 4 December 2018

Reimagining Riga [2]

I waited. For bowed heads with ornate hairstyles attached. For deep glares from stern, angular bodies. A vivid sense of imbalance that I could use to dismiss a nation which had wounded me with its non-Zürich-ness. But the women were mostly looking straight ahead (and at some point which was other than me), and the men, likewise, seemed neither particularly impressed nor disgusted by my presence. A few days went by and I started to see that this, too, was a likeable place. A relatable place. A place with its own dignity economy, and rewards which revealed themselves even to a short-time visitor.

(It was when I landed in Tallinn, Estonia, that I noticed more of the misogyny I was looking for. But even that was counterbalanced in between deep friendliness, a passion for technology, and a hearty way of living. This city clearly deserves more time than we had for it.)

One thing my mother and I actually have in common is our fascination with ornate architecture. As such, I spent most of the time in Riga chasing one manifestation of aesthetic bliss to another. Along the way, I found out that the regular Jane may not be able to eat out, even for a special occasion, but doesn't allow that to diminish her enjoyment of the city's delights. I only needed to look at the physical environment discernible on the streets of the Old Town to see that the people were engaged by it. The vibe was cultured and sophisticated - a place people were creating something worth tuning into. I hope I can spend more time there someday, perhaps in month warmer than October.

Reading Henning Mankell's 'Dogs of Riga' was both a plus and a minus - the crime fiction tale put the city on my map, but continued to paint it in hues so gray, that it would take me a while to disentangle myself from a sense of horror upon viewing the real thing. I suppose I am grateful that Latvia was selected at all by the Swedish author I was dabbling in. I might not have been as eager to come otherwise. Reports of abundant Art Nouveau are one thing, but a narrative that stirs your imagination is far more lucrative. And so I reluctantly raced into the unknown, and ended up relishing the reliably colourful reality.