Wednesday, 21 October 2026

The Patriarchy in Northern Europe

When I met up with my non-binary German friend in their homeland this year, they complained about gender stereotypes that they regularly encounter, from the perspective of someone who is perceived as a cis woman. 

My friend is an excellent driver, and since they enjoys it, they are often the one behind the wheel when travelling with their partner. Their partner is perceived as a cis man, and while he is gender non-conforming, he is also more or less cisgender. When they is driving, they make very few mistakes, but often receive harsh reprimands from other drivers when they do. When it's his turn behind the wheel, he is more likely to make a mistake, but always receives less of a negative reaction than they do. 

This reminded me of a Swedish filmic text I viewed on Netflix, where a cis woman drives her fiancĂ© to her parents' hometown, and their stay goes from one disaster to the next, which is attributed to the unnatural state of women as drivers. A man literally said something like "this is what happens when you let a woman drive" as a way to end the TV episode (or was it film). 

It's not fair. My non-binary friend and people like them experience stress, anger, sadness, and miss out on boosts to their self-confidence for doing a job well done (in this case, being an excellent driver). It does help that the partner is a feminist who is aware of the unfairness, but I think we can agree Germany and Sweden are not gender equal yet. Like every country on earth, they have room for improvement there. 

It helps me, to remember that Northern Europe does not have it all sorted. While I continue to learn from their good example, I am reminded that Australia, too, has its feminist accomplishments, and that helps me persist in fighting my battles. 

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