Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Hello, Hej, Hola

You may have noticed that I haven't been writing much. I hate to admit it, but I'm sort of feeling like my writing isn't of much use lately. I'm afraid to write about feminism and mental health to the extent I want to, for fear of backlash. This post marks my unwillingness to give up my presence, however marginalised, in the blogosphere, yet I can't yet claim to have recovered my faith in myself enough to offer you doses of me as regular as they used to be. What little I can offer will have to suffice.
I'm sorry that my fear and withdrawal means that I'm not the role model I aspire to be. I hope you have other people in your life that you look to for inspiration when it comes to breaking new ground.

How have I been keeping myself entertained? I read quality articles and books every day, trying to keep up to date with the local situation in many (mainly Western, admittedly) a country. Tonight I'm going to watch a lesbian film about cross-cultural romance set in Japan, which should be a treat anthropologically even if the plot/script/narrative falls short of fulfilling. I have finished reading Eat, Pray, Love, and it made me wonder why a woman always has to find the ultimate meaning in life with a relationship. It's repetitive. Not that there isn't much about Elizabeth Gilbert's book to commend. Let's face it, relatively few American women turn to Eastern spirituality to the extent that they're willing to spend months at a time in an ashram in the middle of nowhere, India, or be taken under the wing of a Balinese traditional healer. I learned many things about Balinese culture in particular.

I actually bought a ticket to Bali last year, but then a nearby volcano spurted ash in the air and I had to get a refund as it was no longer safe to fly in. Instead I'm planning to travel to Europe in late June, hitting a new place or two, and enjoying the company of my ex (with whom I am still good friends). That's right, I'm no longer seeing the girl with the sky blue eyes. A little sadness still remains, but it's better this way.

I feel relatively okay these days. Daily walks on the beach fill my evenings with bursts of serenity, as the wind blows in my face and the sun warms my path. My psychologist reminds me that reality is subjective, and that what I like/dislike about others says more about what I like/dislike about myself. I still wish my circumstances were different to the extent that I could live in Western Europe, but I am continuing to appreciate the luck I've had in winding up in Aus.
I wish you peace, equanimity and self-love. May you be safe, inspired and find much meaning in life.