Q: Why should there be one set of rules for cis men's leg and underarm hair, and another for cis women's and non-binary people's?
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Ever since teenagerhood I've observed the growth of innocent little hairs over my legs and underarms, and wondered why people waste time and money on obliterating their existence. The natural function of body hair is to allow the retention of heat, and to show that the individual has reached a certain maturity in their development. Yet we are taught to revile body hair in approximately half the population.
When it became apparent that all my schoolfriends were mercilessly waging war on their bodies, I half-heartedly figured I'd join them. I tried creams which were messy, time-consuming and immobilised me physically for the amount of time it took for them to kick in. They achieved the desired effect - for a few days, that is. After that, it was time to repeat it all like a good masochist. I thought perhaps waxing would get it over with quicker - surely it couldn't be so painful if it was wildly popular? But it turned out that the pain was as acute as I had initially guessed. Why were so many of us willing to submit ourselves to this torture? I decided never to tear out my hair from the roots again. After a while the annoyance of using the creams led me to meditate on the regrowth and decide... what would be so bad about leaving it there? It seemed to resurface for a reason, and it wasn't bothering me. I would let nature run its course.
Due to attending a selective all-girls high school, most of my friends declined from commenting on my legs, but I did have an unpleasant experience when one acquaintance pointed to them and laughed. However, I felt comfortable enough in my own skin to shrug it off. I even believe I got the last laugh, because I have rejected the shame the patriarchy encourages me to feel. On the contrary, I feel proud of what I have achieved in integrating my body hair into a positive self-image. These days I mostly wear long pants, but on the occasion that my leg hair is visible in public I emotionally prepare myself for occasional derision from strangers, knowing that I am strong enough to handle it.
It occurs to me that subscribers to the patriarchy prefer not to treat cis women as mature, grown, full human beings. They would rather infantilise and patronise them. A cis woman without body hair looks (and feels) more like a pre-pubescent girl than an adult. It's easier to treat her like an immature or underdeveloped being whose function is to be restricted, controlled and dehumanised.
I have different ideas about the way I show up in the world. I surround myself with people who respect what I do (or, in this case, what I don't do) with my body. My friendships are egalitarian. If I'm to have a relationship in the future, it will be with someone who treats me as an equal, whether their gender predisposes them to this or not. I consider life to be too short not to allow my body hair take up its rightful place in it. I hope I can inspire my readers to revise the way they see norms and beauty standards around this.
