'To share or not to share(, that is the question)'

Yesterday I attended an interview with Elizabeth Day at the Sydney Opera House, which gave me lots of food for thought on the subject of sharing. As a blogger, I've shared many private worlds with my audience. In most instances, I don't know how they will be received - each person reading my posts will have a different interpretation of them, due to their personal history, what is happening in their life that particular day, their social and economic status, and any number of other factors I could care to articulate. I share anyway. 

My writing is a balance between externalising parts of my interiority and landing safely in the public sphere. Some of my innermost thoughts, which might be deeply interesting for readers, will forever be hidden from view. I notice that I have the tendency to represent my mood as more buoyant than I regularly experience it as being. It's a defence system. 

I thank you for reading my blog, and encourage you to share your thoughts with me... this way, I will be more aware of what my readers are engaging with, be able to create more of the material that appeals to you, and excise the rest. I believe I've made it easier to comment than ever before, so feel free to say Hello - I'm always open to kind thoughts by deep thinkers. 

Non-conformity with Intersectionality (Or Something)

- I've forged a path in life deeply informed by nonconformity. From one angle, I identity as a queer Slav who has a tendency towards polyamory. I'm also single and childfree at 40, having resolved never to wed anyone I might develop a relationship with. Many childfree people find fulfilment in their career, but I don't really have one. I practice my skills in writing almost as if I were going to get paid - but I make do on government support. I'm an antiracist immigrant who has chronic mental health issues. And, of course, I'm a feminist with intersectionality. It takes a full paragraph just to list my various marginal groups. 

- I have reached some sort of sweet spot in terms of public presence: 99% of people I read as wielding a patriarchal gaze completely ignore me on the street. I have no way of knowing if this is because I'm a size 24 (Australian) or because I'm now in my forties and not that attractive to people, or both. To be invisible is a shield against a culture of unwanted sexualisation - and I am willing to sacrifice being a healthier weight to keep the shield. 

- When you have associated high calorie or ultra processed food with rewards for as long as you can remember, switching to healthier eating choices can feel counter-intuitive. But I persist. I've added vegetables to every main meal, and I mostly snack on fruit. My doctor says all my bloodwork is within the healthy range. She recommends adding more exercise, but I don't think I'm quite ready. One step at a time... I have to get used to my current lifestyle, because it still feels new. 

Carcassonne: Photography [2]

 

Carcassonne: Photography

 

Carcassonne - View from the Ramparts

Some Thoughts on Italy & Travel Choices

Something nice has happened today: a writer I follow, Shani Silver (of 'Every Single Day' fame), has decided that 2024 is the year when she will finally visit Rome. No longer waiting for the ideal partner to show up to make Italian travels a reality, her article 'My Italian Honeymoon' reveals that she has booked a flight to the capital and intends to enjoy it in its 'imperfect perfection'. 

Shani has done some introspection. In the past, she held the view that to do Italy "correctly" there had to be a fiancé to share the experience with. But what to do when Mr Right is not in sight, yet you still want to experience all that life has to offer? For Shani, allowing herself the mental space to enjoy Rome by herself is a defiant act of self-love, and I admire her for it. This was the final experience she had been saving up for Romance-land, and to emerge from such a category is about being mindful of the uncertainty and transience of life, and a determination to fully show up in it. 

Well done, Shani!

*

I was thinking about New York City as a potential travel destination. I have historically not been very enthusiastic about viewing it as such. It's not that I don't have any wish to see it - I'm sure it could make for a very interesting, educational, and even fun trip. It's just that my 2004-2005 experience with the US left me with a lot of trauma, and I don't want any old wounds to be re-opened by returning. 

I maintain an interest in alternative US culture. I'm interested in what subversive BIPOC, queer people and other minority groups have to offer the international sphere. But I have unhappy memories of American exceptionalism and its attendant arrogant insularity. I'm told NYC has a similar haughtiness for outsiders as I experienced in San Francisco around '05. 

So, at this moment, No - regardless of my curiosity about Lady Gaga and Madonna's hometown, the setting of 'Friends' and 'Sex and the City', and the wealth of art and culture to be found there, I keep finding other places much more lucrative. 

But so as not to end on a negation and a certainty, I will keep open the possibility that I might warm to New York, NY in the future.

Brainstorming: Future European Travels

This post might be described as a little 'self-indulgent', but I do find that writing like this helps me organise my thoughts. I hope something in my travel plans catches your interest, and, if not, there's always the next post. :)

This year I have plans to travel to the following places in Germany:

1. Frankfurt (2 nights)

2. Heidelberg (6 nights)

3. Rothenburg ob der Tauber (6 nights)

4. Bamberg (4 nights)

5. Dresden (6 nights)

6. Köln (6 nights)

I also have plans to travel to these places in Portugal:

7. Porto [+ one other Portuguese place] (7 nights)

8. Óbidos (5 nights)

9. Lisbon (2 nights)

In 2025 and 2026 I have in mind to travel to the following:

- France/Switzerland/Germany -

1. Strasbourg (6 nights)

2. Colmar (6 nights)

3. [A charming Alsatian village, or Nancy] (4 nights)

4. Basel (4 nights)

5. Freiburg (6 nights)

6. Baden-Baden (4 nights)

- Austria/Germany/Italy

1. Bolzano (6 nights)

2. Innsbruck (5 nights)

3. Hallstatt (4 nights)

4. Salzburg (6 nights)

5. Kitzbuhel (4 nights)

6. Mittenwald (4 nights)

7. Füssen / Neuschwanstein (4 nights)

[8. maybe: Dinkelsbühl (4 nights)]

Some other places I am eager to see:

1. Ghent. Bruges. Lille. 

2. Salamanca. Segovia. Toledo. 

3. Bordeaux. San Sebastian. 

4. Krakow. Olomouc. Český Krumlov. 

5. London. (- Extended stay.)

6. Paris. (- Extended stay.)

7. Bergen. Tromsø.  

8. Aarhus. Gothenburg. Umeå. 

9. Crete. Mykonos. Naxos. 

10. Thessaloniki. Meteora. 

... thinking about Second Cities, I have listed the ones I've visited - in order of highest preference (completely subjective):

1. Turku

2. Barcelona

3. Hamburg

4. Geneva

5. Milan

6. Marseille

... thinking about the Second Cities I would like to visit in the future, they're listed in order of highest preference:

1. Porto

2. Salzburg

3. Bergen

4. Gothenburg

5. Aarhus