To Stay Sane & Grow

The Greek-Australian Christos Tsiolkas said something that resonated with me on an ABC podcast - whatever his connection to Greece (and the EU project), when the shit hit the fan, it was Australia that called him back and had a place for him. Likewise, I too felt comforted and soothed by the protections in place in this country of which I am a citizen. I felt lucky that I hadn't followed up on my impulse to travel to Taiwan in March/April. Somehow I felt safe by virtue of being randomly stuck in a remote corner of the universe where the infections failed to proliferate. This counting of my blessings has stayed with me. 

Still, I found it hard to be unaffected by the sheer scale of the suffering. I don't know anyone personally who has died or is deeply ill, but as I watch the people around me move their strides speak of grief, loss, even trauma. No-one is unscathed by the as-yet-unfolding tragedy. 

Long ago, no one had space to hold my trauma. So I feigned lightness. It was a survival mechanism, but I want to reconnect with my deeper sense of self after all these years. Feel the feelings. Work through them. 

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Finding ways: It's my specialty. 

I am interested in adding more variety to my life, though I don't know how to do it. Maybe going back to karaoke rooms in the city would be a good idea? Sydney recorded zero cases today. Reinforce my Spanish knowledge on Duolingo (maybe finally master the 'personal a')? Hire a language tutor on italki?