My 2025 Mardi Gras Festival (so far)

I chanced on a conversation with a queer man this evening 

Loquacious, well-travelled, kind and well-read

He saved me from a soundtrack of Leony’s

‘Rock and Roll’ ‘decorating’ my head

*

I’ve attended four events in the line-up for this Mardi Gras Festival: Randwick Pride, Fair Day, and two film screenings in Newtown. I’ve felt more welcome in my own city than I do most times of year. 

Fair Day in particular always surprises me with the diversity in the stalls, variety in the performances and sheer number of people. This year we were treated to a sampling of songs from the musical Titanique, which inspired me to experience the whole show sometime soon.

The Sydney Gay and Lesbian Choir performed at both Fair Day and Randwick Pride, saluting those of us with a bit of experience in love with an Australian 90s song about ‘[keeping on] falling in love / which is kind of the same.’ The song explores the rollercoaster of adult life, longs for parental guidance, yet ultimately celebrates persisting on the journey. (I forget the name of the song.)

Randwick Pride introduced me to Dyan Tai, a cis man vocalist in drag, who has a naturally high voice, brings themes of being other-ised as an Asian, and the lack of queer literacy in his family. The lyrics also feature more common gay themes, such as the magnetism of same-sex attraction, and the appeal of consumerism. The beauty of Dyan’s multi-faceted lavender dress was unmatched by any other outfit I’ve seen in this Festival. 

Having recently made an acquaintance on the promenade of Coogee Beach (where Randwick Pride was held) to whom I don’t feel comfortable being out, I can attest to Coogee & Randwick being places where heteronormativity still reigns. It is mostly a good-natured lack of cultural savvy. There may be a permanent rainbow walkway painted on the pavement, but it’s often that I feel like “the only gay in the village.” There is a strong appeal of Randwick Pride for me, because, for at least one day of the year, I feel like there are enough of us LGBTIQs around to make our presence felt.

The film ‘Lesvia’, a documentary put together by a Lesbos-born lesbian, indulged in the hedonism and social patterns of the mostly transient communities formed in Eressos (a part of the island encompassing a beach). It was interesting, though disconcerting, to witness the locals’ sense of separateness from any kind of queerness. One woman even hesitated to acknowledge Sappho’s lesbian heritage, when prompted. But this didn’t stop European travellers and some other international visitors (such as those from Israel) pursuing the Eressos experience, seeking a liberating space and finding solace, company and/or sex. With a handful of businesses springing up, accommodating for tendencies like vegetarianism, and eventually a women-only hotel (which has since closed), tourists felt they could live large and even sometimes behaved in culturally disrespectful ways which annoyed the locals. (It’s a familiar story of tourists not doing their research on the locals and overstepping boundaries.) Eressos, Lesbos continues to draw queer women today, though in the internet age it doesn’t have the same oasis-like feel as it did in the 60s-80s. Still, I will consider visiting next time I’m in Greece - it holds a historic appeal and promises a modern edge. 

Last but not least, I took in a suite of short films in a new venue (the upstairs room of a hotel and bar), the best of which was called ‘The Space You Need’ - this British sci-fi took a light-hearted, witty approach to the eventual falling apart of a relationship. There were laugh-out-loud moments as well as telling pauses which prompted us to recalibrate. An enjoyable story made all the more relatable by a racially diverse cast. 

Some of the other short films represented a groan-worthy gender reveal party which goes haywire in humorous style, and then there was the trans woman with supernatural gifts tasked with inducing confessions of love between two women who have been keeping their emotions under wraps for the longest time. Not all the films were stellar, but together they hit feel-good notes and made the trip to the inner west worth it.

I look forward to a couple more events before this Mardi Gras is done. It has provided me with reassurance and joy.

Is everyone bipotential?

It could very well be that any one human being has the potential for bisexuality. This is a hypothesis that makes intuitive sense to me, but Compulsory Heterosexuality remains a strong influence on society. 

In the past, when I have raised this question, I have received everything from the refusal to consider the concept seriously, to recognition that it’s an illuminating idea. 

Through dealing with the disbelievers I’ve come to realise that, in a way, I don’t need everyone to be bipotential in order to feel that my bisexuality is a natural or good thing. It does help, though.

Bipotentiality helps enrich what ‘natural’ means to those of us who identify as LGBTIQA+. Popularly in circulation is the ‘Born this way’ narrative, which argues that minority sexualities are innate and can’t be interfered with in any meaningful way, yet this has always sounded apologetic to me - catering to mainstream heteronormativity. 

What I want to see is LGBTIQA+ people expand in number until unproblematic heterosexuality loses its appeal as a concept. Compulsory Heterosexuality is not a celebration of human sexuality, but immobilising. Bipotentiality is a gentle assertion of sexuality’s richness and endless variation. It brings abundant possibilities. 

It would be nice to have bisexuality normalised to such an extent that it is the default concept associated with ‘normal sexuality.’ At such a time I can find comfort in being popularly well-received, as part of an inclusive majority which finds little ‘too weird’. In the meantime I must remind myself that bisexuals find their way into the media on a regular basis, and the younger generations are more comfortable with it than Millenials. 

I do think this may be the future sooner rather than later, but we need to fight to make it a reality.

A walk on Coogee Beach is...

- Visual Splendour: The sea has a mesmerising quality to it, generating both regular and irregular rhythms. New patterns dance around the froth, different types of waves entertain surfers and the casual observer is kept guessing. How intensely will the waves break on the shore? How many surfers will navigate the water today? How many swimmers will keep within the flags? Will there be any announcements over the loudspeaker? Will the sea invade huge swathes of the pool, or tidily lap at the edges?

- Everything Around It: Trees that remind me of pines line the promenade, offering shade on sunny days. There's a garden running alongside the smooth, carrot-toned stones, competing for the passerby's attention on the other side. Rows of grass spliced between sandy-coloured stone curves remind me vaguely of rice paddies, though the grey statues of war heroes bring me back to white supremacist patriarchy. The birds circle the man-made landscape here, while further uphill it's possible to inhabit blue-and-cream wooden huts. 

- Attention to detail: At the southern entrance to Coogee's it's possible to enhance the caffeine content in your body. At the northern entrance, too, but I prefer the pale green structure of Barzura, with its striped umbrellas decorating the pavement. Inside, the acoustics can make it uncomfortably noisy, but the outdoors tables are shady and offer splendid views: it's where everyone wants to be. 

- People (and pet) Watching: There's a guy with an image of Jesus on his back, and the word 'Coexist' above it, representing a collection of major world religions in the font. There's women with skin-tight designer sportswear, fluorescent or monochrome, sometimes in pastel. They run or walk, sometimes accompanied and at other times enjoying their solitude with headphones. There's elderly, European-born couples enjoying the sunshine, British and Irish backpackers hanging out in pairs or groups, brown-skinned youth decked out in Tommy Hilfiger, (East) Asian men wearing Superdry tshirts, queer women with neon hair and multiple piercings, alternative types in black or dark clothing, femmes with sunglasses and flowy, floral dresses, Indian couples eating ice cream and much more. 

The pets are as varied as their owners, from golden labradors to greyhounds, small dogs which enthuse at each other, and bigger ones that can peer over the promenade's wall if they stand up on their hind legs. I recognise that some people are return visitors simply because their dogs are distinctive. 

- Variable: Each visit to Coogee Beach is unique, and there is a lot more I could add, but I have to end this post at some stage. 

At Coogee Beach

Watching people shimmy in and out of view

Arms lightly grazed by seasalt-licked sand

They’ve gathered to find delight in something

The water’s edge lubricates socially as well

Is there music which captures the feeling?

Pop-up guitarists have been known to linger

Their offerings fade in and out of earshot

I rarely pause in my forward momentum

Whether through gentle breeze, or gusts of wind,

Still or variable, the air is tactile, now within

Leaping off of aquamarine waters

Celebrating all the walkers

No matter the weather, it welcomes me in