Wednesday 2 May 2018

Beyond the echo chamber

I'm part of a Facebook group on postmodernism, the creator and admin of which is an American conservative. This initially puzzled me, but by now I'm used to his fearful political stances. I spent some time feeling despondent over one practice of his in particular: posting up misogynistic portrayals of women in cartoon or meme form. A number of his loyal contributors bonded with him and each other over these images. I felt like the group wasn't a safe space, and for a long time I regarded it with high ambivalence. 

Then, one day, I realised that I had to say something, even if it was just screaming into the void that I would effectively be doing. My comment was simple: under the latest creepy video, I wrote 'Stop hating on women!' A complex discussion followed. Not many people supported me. I was accused of playing the victim. A non-binary feminist de-lurked to tell me to 'choose my battles'. They didn't realise that that's exactly what I was doing: I wanted badly to participate in an active, thought-provoking discussion on postmodernism. But I could only hold the space for it, if it made some effort to nurture me. 

The creator posted exactly one more pic in the mean-spirited tradition of past. From then on the discussion shifted from ridiculing women to more palatable topics, and at one point he and I agreed to disagree on the subject of racism, keeping the tone respectful. Later he would thank 'everybody' who responded to his prompt on abortion, myself included, for their contribution. We continue to move along, exploring ideas and deconstructing our assumptions. 

If I hadn't spoken up I would still be gritting my teeth, paralysed with fear, doubting myself at too many turns. This experience has emboldened me to share my views to whatever extent I dare, always mindful of the need to create a safe space within myself first. 

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