Friday 22 March 2019

Plodding through the earth

Have you ever noticed how, when someone spends most of their time living in a suitably conspicuous city, they tend to conflate it with the entire country? I used to think of myself as living in "Australia" more specifically than Sydney, though recent visits to places like Melbourne and Hobart have changed that. I do catch myself saying that I spent two days in "New Zealand" though, knowing that I can get away with it by having flown to one of its two major cities.

My time in Welly was fleeting, but it perked me up somewhat. Insomnia forgot to make way for holidays, I came back home so I could sleep soundly. Or at all. I felt the kindness, though. The leadership style flowing, top-down. Jacinda Ardern's presence being felt in a way that reminded me of Julia Gillard's effect on my society. As another female commentator noted, we recognise in Ardern's empathy, compassion and solidarity with the Muslim community our own repressed need for same. For too long has Australia been steered by psychically damaged, misogynistic homophobes and shift racists. Please, for all our sakes, let's change the game.

My dad beats me up emotionally for my political imagination - he finds it mostly incomprehensible and definitely unpleasant that I root for the Nordic countries and "hate" the US & UK. (Even though I don't hate them - I just think their more rightwing tendencies are not serving their considerable leftwing populations. There is hope for us all.) He is an attack dog, cruel and sadistic.

But nothing can shake my Democratic Socialist convictions, even though sometimes it feels like I am psychically mauled. Sometimes, I need time to recover from the bruising. Like right now. It takes time for my imagination to reassert myself: those Nordic countries are a long way away. I'll be back and it will soothe me, and I will renew my visions, but now I feel squeezed. Right now I feel like lashing out in non-violent ways. Something has been punctured within me. 

No comments:

Post a Comment