Scarcity Thinking or Realism?

I've been around groups of single women long enough to be familiar with the following complaint: There aren't enough quality men out there for all the quality women who are looking for quality men.

Kara Loewentheil is aware of it too, and uses it as an example of how not to approach dating. According to Kara, this is scarcity thinking, and will impact you negatively, as you make the dating experience a drag. And then, when you do get into a relationship, you would be so afraid of not losing that relationship (cause, where are you going to find another?), that you're willing to tolerate behaviour that doesn't correspond to how you think you deserve to be treated. 

In a sense, I can see how abundance thinking would give you an advantage in dating. It might motivate you to search for matches more often. Having an optimistic, or even just curious and experimental approach to dating, sends far more attractive vibes than believing your efforts are doomed to failure. But is it not possible to believe that there is an unbalance in the dating scene, yet still remain open-minded about finding a partner?

Because the statistics seem to bear the "scarcity thinking" out. From one angle at least: more women than men attend university. Those women then go on to pursue a man who has a similar level of education. The theory goes, not all of them will be successful. From a point of view slightly more relevant to me (as a homoflexible, polyamorous autodidact), there seem to be more women who are feminists than men who are feminists/allies. These opposite-sex attracted women then have two choices: remain single, or settle for second best. 

A realist might say that, sure there are few desirable matches out there, but there's no reason I can't be in the game. I am worthy of a relationship with someone who seeks a certain level of mutuality. I've been in a relationship before, and it's possible I will find myself in one again. Not to mention, I will be fine with or without a relationship, because it's proven that a relationship doesn't make you any happier in the long term. 

For me personally, being conflict-averse means that I often suffer in silence in a relationship. Unless I change my firm habits of concealing my feelings and thoughts if I think they will not be met with approval (sounds like the sort of thing requiring years of therapy!), being in a relationship may actually make me feel worse. 

But the cool thing is that I can be happy with my single state. It's a special talent I have, to appreciate my inner world and the gifts I am giving to myself all the time. To be content with being alive is something I can always come back to. I believe I am living in abundance.