In 2019 I enjoyed reading Shani Silver's 'Every Single Day' column in Refinery29.com (US). Shani's witty, conversational style defended single (hetero) women against social expectations of coupling up. She disavowed peer judgement for not having married, and other intrusive negations of her and others' single state. Defiantly feminist, she described the pleasures of sleeping starfish-style on a double bed, being soothed by your lovely pet, and the freedom to pursue a Parisian vacation on a whim.
So I was a little surprised when Shani wrote that she was interested in experiencing Italy for the first time, but was saving it for the day when she could travel with a romantic partner.
I think to confine Italy to a solely romantic function is to bypass all the incredible experiences you can have in this country. What about viewing its exalted art, either by staying for a while in one of its larger metropolitan areas, or pursuing a path through several different cities, perhaps with a theme? Indulging your tastebuds multiple times a day with uniquely delicious dishes? Browsing the latest, impeccable fashion, or admiring the design of everything from moccasins to Murano glass? Finding an inspiration of your very own in one of many extravagantly ornamented churches? Discovering the motivations behind that colourful character you just fell into a conversation with, and trying to figure out to what extent they are an outlier of society or to what extent they fit right in? Joining in the passeggiata (the leisurely evening stroll with possibilities for socialising) and enjoying the cadences of the language, the theatricity of the hand movements and the fun of socially acceptable flirting? Admiring the hues of sunlight as they disperse further warmth onto the residential buildings coated in yellows, oranges and pinks?
When it comes to a large nation that's well-established in the tourist industry, finding pleasure there that has nothing to do with romance (in the strictest sense) is easy. If you really want to visit Italy, trust the many solo women travellers that have already made it there, and had an optimal experience. Who knows, maybe when you meet a romantic partner down the road, you can show them your favourite places, basking in the knowledge that they are benefitting from your experience. (Visiting the same place twice can also be a wonderful source of pleasure.) But even if it's just for you and you alone, you deserve to live in the moment and make the most of how things are right now.
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