Control
I have it and I don't
I'm a cis white person in a developed country
I'm a queer disabled woman who is poor
I hurt so much that it turns corrosive
I smart silently and dream of empowerment
It takes so much out of me just to act composed
My emotions twisted by perpetual deferment
Wondering why it feels so futile
Wondering who I can turn to and if I am able
To be the reliable narrator in all situations
Knowing I will never meet perfection
*
I'm the only thing I own
I polish myself off for the occasion
I can walk for miles
With my underlying depression
But who will discover me?
Quietly shedding my defences
A mirror shows me marks of pride
I discover myself, attentive by my side
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