My most significant romantic relationship arose around the beginning of 2016, and its end coincided with New Year’s Eve. It was only in retrospect that I figured out one of the main sources of misery therein: I was unable to assert my needs due to conflict avoidance.
In a perfect world, I would work on increasing my feelings of worthiness, gradually, over time, with a trustworthy psychologist. But that takes time and money, the latter being a resource I do not have in abundance.
So then, I ask myself: Is a romantic relationship really worth it? At least when I’m alone, the only obstacle to following my heart’s desire is how deeply I’m in touch with my feelings. I like my freedom and independence. What if I just function better solo?
I wouldn’t be the first person to prefer their own company, as opposed to feeling chronically unacknowledged in a partnership. (Here’s the thing about being limited in asserting your needs: your partner can’t meet those needs if they don’t know what they are.) No longer regularly on the dating apps, I am still working on feeling deeply comfortable with my solo status.
There are a lot of sexist and misogynistic messages out there, aimed at keeping women constantly craving someone else’s approval. But what if I celebrate being solo? What if that’s the best state to be in, here and now? What if I feel good enough on my own?
No comments:
Post a Comment